i sit here writing this while my grandmother waits for the light. how can i be so heartless as to not spend her last hours right next to her? i can't handle it, sitting in there, watching her. she looks better today than yesterday, and better yesterday than the last time i saw her. why?


and yet, i keep going back to this most interesting dream i had while i slept on the couch in the waiting room. i don't know where it came from, but it made me think of a lot of things.


and now facebook doesn't work and it's the only thing i want to do right now.

why is everyone so loud all the time? sarah's talking to someone on the phone and i want to shoot her.

right now i'm feel the opposite of em. I don't want to leave yet, i'm definitely not sick of this place yet. i'm done listening to the bullcrap from our directors, and i don't like chemistry, but for the most part i'm happy here.



ps two entries in one day? what's wrong with me?

we have half an hour left in class adn we're supposed to be reading an article about Saturn. wtf. it's so boring. i wish facebook wasn't blocked. i want to play farmville.



i love the wedding scene. i could be in that all day.

I HAVE TO BABYSIT TONIGHT

I LIKE GETTING OUT OF REHEARSAL EARLY

I HAVE A PEOPLE MAGAZINE TO READ TONIGHT YEAH

I THOUGHT WE JUST GOT ONE LIKE 2 DAYS AGO I GUESS NOT

MY DAD JUST PRONOUNCED JEAN VALJEAN AS "GENE VAL GENE" ROFL

THIS SENTENCES ARE STEPPING STAIRS SO THIS ONE IS RAMBLING LALALALA

OK

END

EDIT I NOTICED THAT MY SENTENCES AREN'T STAIRS ON THE ACTUAL JOURNAL PAGE. STUPID

.

Here is filler





BRA


Here is the end

I wonder what that stands for. But I am very stinky. I mowed the lawn and I have not yet showered.



I'd like to say that I'm still pretty pissed off.

i am so addicted to farmville and mafia wars. who would've thunk it.

Well today was a good day.
Started out with a good night of staying up until 6 am, then waking up at 11. :D Good talks. I like talking about celebrities as if we know them.

Then Spring mill. Havemn't been out there in foreverrrr. It was the most crowded it's been in foreverrrr as well. But it was warm and I was happy. Then I fell asleep. We were there for like 5 hours. I hope Em and Mel didn't want to leave sooner. They would've awoken me if that was the case I guess. But I finished another chapter in Gone so I was happy.

Now we're going to go to Rainforest Cafe <3. That's my favorite restaurant, no doubt. I like how far away it is; it's always a treat to go.

I forgot to check out my toe that I stubbed on a stump. It's kinda ugly looking.


OMG I'M GONNA MEET MY LOVER TOMORROW.

Once again it is well past 3 am and I am wide awake. At least I don't have to actually wake up at 7:30 tomorrow to drive my mom to work like yesterday (Monday).

Today was fun. I'm still stoked for Sunday. Gahhh it's gonna be freaking amazing.
I liked zaping in the zone. And watching the big black guy get thrown out. F yeah.
Walking around Western and Wexford/Hidden Creek was nice, too. Most exercise I've had in a while. Well, other than running around and lazering people. But my ankles are killing me right now, so even if I tried to go to sleep, I doubt I'd be able to.
Got home soon after 11:30, and my mom is still gone. I called her cell around 5:30 to tell her what I was doing; Sarah answered, apparently Mom went to the Longvilles'. Called around 8, no one was home. So I figured no one needed to know where I was. Luckily, Mom didn't come home until 12:30, and I scolded her. And apparently Dad went to some bluegrass concert tonight. By himself, I think. WTF?

Let's see...today I ate ("ate"): bagel with egg and cheese, root beer float, ice cream bar, pudding cup, and a couple of cookies. Wow, so unhealthy, and I only had one parital meal. And I'm just starting to feel hungry.

I think I want to go to Ohio State next year. Yeah, pretty sure.

I might as well just stay up until the rest of the family awakens.


God my head is filled with emotion and I don't know what to make of it.

Woke up at 12:15 to the lovely sound of my phone buzzing for 21 twitter notifications.
Thought about my dream with Kevin the Creeper...still unsure about that.
Slobbed around for a little bit.
Took a shower and shaved. My legs are loverly right now.
Went to Matt's after picking up Mel's ice cream cake.
Had some fun.
Went home to change.
Picked up Mel, went to Gilbert Willis with Em and Jack.
Went to Red Robin/Applebees, ate good food.
Reminisced about George, my fake birthday, and the black people calling Emily.
Started to drive away in the thunderstorm.
Went to Cait's and watched Fever Pitch.
Complained about how weird it looked the whole time.
Did NOT get the runs, for once :]
Left and it was no longer rainy.
Was a cRaZy driver. (That was everytime I drove.)
Dropped Em off at her car.
Took Mel home.
Got worried about the dead man in my trunk and hoped he wouldn't jump out at me.
Went into my parents' room to tell them I was home.
Tried to scare Soup and Lolo in the basement, but they were unfrightened.
Now I'm here.

So it's been a pretty nice day.

Ok so I'm sooooo happy right now. In case you didn't hear, I got a 5 on my AP Bio exam!! NBD, really :p. Seriously, though. This is exciting. I was opening the letter saying, "At least a 3, at least a 3..." and whaddaya know? A five. Wow this is mind blowing.

Ok I'll stop talking about it. Don't want to seem like I'm bragging. But right now, I think I have a bit of a right to ;]

I was just on Twitter and read something about Barbies. It reminded me of my always increasing joy when I opened a gift and it was a new Barbie...Camping Barbie, Skiing Barbie, Vet Barbie...I loved them all. I love the little plastic props and shoes, and the crappy combs that came in each set, and especially the little orange soda bottles that came with one of them. Beauty and the Beast Barbie and Skiing Barbie remind me of my grandmom's house. I'm unsure why...I think I might've gotten them there. Or at least played with them there. Barbie was most definitely my most favorite toy as a young child.

I just preached to my dog about not using drugs. I think I'm going crazy. This teen health stuff really needs to be over and done with.


PS Why is there no emoticon for delusional?

I feel like I'm getting old, what with turning 17 in a month and a week. I was thinking about it, and if I'm thinking of living to 80, then 17 is close to 20, which is 2/8 of 80. I realized that's 1/4. So maybe I am getting old. But everyday I get more and more excited for college, and I think it's weird that I have another year of high school.

Is it weird to have a sexy dream about Nick Jonas?
Because I did last night.
And I have no idea why.

On another note...the Tigers game was fun. I thought it was going to go badly but then Polanco did some magic and made it good. He's a cutie...and now my favorite Tiger :] All those crazy fans wan Inge to be voted into the All-Star game. But from what I saw tonight Inge was sucking bit time. And Polanco and Ordonez are much better. Whatever. It's not like I'll watch the All-Star game.

There are so many things I want to write about. But I can't put them down on paper. Or here. They're just thoughts scrambled about my brain. Maybe on the plane ride home tomorrow I'll be able to get them out.

I hope Mom lets me go to Joan's tomorrow. I really want to before she moves.

i can't stop loling.
i'm so funny.
it's actually really stupid.

but you'll know it when you see it.

Yesterday I went to the dentist by myself. Well with my sister. But no mother or father. I feel so old. I just remembered I have to give Mom that card with our next appointments on it.

I am babysitting tonight. I hope it's just the 2-year-old. Then again, I can't handle her sobs on my own. Aw shit.

My shoulder is about as leathery as an old woman's. It's kind of disgusting. And my arm is peeling like mad. I pull off little bits of skin, but an obsession begins and I peel more and more until huge chunks are coming off and I have nothing to do with them. It's a little gross to throw the pieces on the ground but I'm a little too lazy to throw them away. Maybe I just won't do anything now.

Ugh I can't concentrate on my health stuff. Ew I have a piano lesson later.